Life, Shane and the Persuit of Happiness

It's what's on my mind, and yours too. Well, at least that bit about happiness...

Thursday, July 25, 2002

Right now I feel so close, like I'm almost there. I'm on the verge of everything, but also nothing. It's as simple as pure mechanics. Have you ever fooled with a mechanical contrivance, where you're trying so hard, physically, to manipulate it in a way to accomplish your goal. You're crounched down for two hours, torso twisted in a way that you know is not good for your spine, with your arms convoluted and crossed trying to line up a hole with another hole in order to insert a metal pin. As soon as you think you have it; you must have it this time, it's so close, you've lost it. You start over. You don't know if it will end. You have no feedback, so you don't ever know how close you are or aren't. You don't know for sure if it's even a possible feat to accomplish, but you keep trying, or give up. The thing is, being "close" or feeling like it's "almost right" might mean that you're just as far away as, or farther than, your goal as when you started. Will you ever win? Nobody, except nature, knows. So you just keep going. It might all be in vain, who knows...
posted by Shane  # 10:11 PM
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