Life, Shane and the Persuit of Happiness

It's what's on my mind, and yours too. Well, at least that bit about happiness...

Wednesday, July 04, 2001

I've shared alot of very personal stuff with you in this blog. But I still feel that you don't know me. In fact I know that you don't know me because in all actuality I don't know me. I don't really know what I want, so I have no direction. I can't translate what I feel and so I don't know what I want. I'm confused and overwhelmed by all the noise outside, so much so that I can't hear inside. I haven't felt the physical pull of desire for months. I find myself staring at objects for too long while not thinking of anything. Everyone around me is being alienated, I can even feel it, but I don't know why or how I'm doing it. They're all slowly turning away from me as though I've just let them down.

You know I've learned that I'm one self centered asshole. All this 'poor me' bullshit is starting to piss *me* off even. Sure this blog is MY place to talk about ME, but I do not limit my self-solacing ramblings to these pages at all, and that's the sad part. I've got to try and push my sorrows, wailings, and whinings off on everyone else around me. Nobody wants to hear that. Come to think of it, no wonder noone wants to be around me. There I go again, *sniff sniff* "Poor me, nobody likes me..." *sniff sniff* Pathetic...
posted by Shane  # 10:20 PM
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